Monday, June 11, 2007

S'il Vous Pee

This post of mine, is another of my attempts at elongating a weekend, fast coming to a close. Anyway, the following mail forwarded by Sudeep, caused a genuine chuckle. Read on...
Seems God was just about done creating the universe, had a couple of left-over things left in his bag of creations, so he stopped by to visit Adam and Eve in the Garden. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up and pee. "It's a very handy thing," God told the couple who he found hanging around under an apple tree. "I was wondering if either one of you wanted that ability." Adam popped a cork!! He jumped up and begged,
"Oh, give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems the sort of thing a Man should do. Oh please, oh please, oh please, let me have that ability. I'd be so great! When I'm working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just let it rip, I'd be sooooo cool. Oh please, God, let it be me who you give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please."
On and on he went like an excited little boy (who had to pee ).
Eve just smiled and shook her head at the display. She told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, and it sure seemed to be the sort of thing that would make him happy, she really wouldn't mind if Adam were the one given the ability to stand up and pee. And so it was. And it was...........well, good.
"Fine," God said, looking back into his bag of left-over gifts.
"What's left here? Oh yes, multiple orgasms..."
Basically, while the recent tell-it-all streak, shall not extend to multiple orgasms, I shall contain myself well within the 1st 85% of the mail, of which I have experience, and in spite of the sting in the tail (read: kick in the balls) of the mail, I found the 1st Adam part of it pretty hilarious.
The mail made me pretty vividly imagine, a excited Adam all gung-pee about his new powers that he could spray about. Think about a 5 year old, jumping with joy at a new water-gun gifted to him & you know what I exactly mean.
The mail also brings out, Eve's reticent nature and her ability to grin in joy (or helplessness) at how relieved (pun intended) Adam is at the power to stand up for himself and express himself. Everyone has experience, at their moms/sisters/daughters sitting tight in the car while we merrily pop out of the car and pop back in minutes later.

On a lateral note, the following picture sums up how evil I feel, each time I can use my Adam-inherited powers. Can you possibly, imagine Susie in place of Calvin, doing the same? Hell NO!
Calvin might not be able to hit Susie with a single snowball, but when it comes to matters that matter, he is bang on target!
Similarly, I was intrigued & interested at the public urinals, I found at street crossings in Amsterdam (seen below). So simple, minimalistic yet efficient and complete, they exactly sum what standing up and peeing is!
While, I hadn't seen something like this before, Deepak D. aka DudDa, interjected saying they can be found in Bihar - Surely! DudDa, we had no idea Bihar had open urinals :P

2 comments:

Metallica bhakt! said...

hilarious in the beginning..wicked towards the end!but my imagination running full on..the whole what-if-Eve-had-not-sacrificed idea seems pretty amusing!!rather weird,absurd!and most importantly unimaginable in the sense of the word..hehe..

Shantanu said...

@sweet-angel :- Don't worry - there was no way Adam was giving up that power!