I feel a tinge of sadness when realizing that
I only have a handful of new 'friends' even after being in the US for 7
years. The recent #BLM movement as well as (overdue) discussion on
diversity and inclusion has really driven the point home.
A big part of the reason was context and setup —
Building friendships is a two way street of give & take; of lowering-your-defenses & being-open-to-changing-your-beliefs. It requires you to intentionally leave your comfort zone and take risks, be vulnerable and be patient about the results.
I had the best success when I was left with little choice ;-)
a. On a Wharton development venture trip sailing around Grenada; I bonded with my shipmates. And even though I have hardly stayed in touch with them since, for a week I didn't have any pretense and built genuine relationships
b. Working at Fundbox, over the years I made friends with the team by being consistent, reliable and patient for months.
Starting Prodigal has not really afforded that opportunity. I am largely socially distant from the team long before the pandemic :) and its hard to lower your guard as a CEO.
As H2 2020 begins, that will be my #1 goal for the remainder of the year. Here is what I will do
A big part of the reason was context and setup —
- I had numerous close friends in the NY - DC belt when I first moved to the US. This was undoubtedly fortunate; and better to the alternative of not having friends by a mile.
- Even after Wharton, I moved to the Bay Area which is more diverse than the rest of the US but also granted me a zone of comfort.
- Having family in the Bay Area meant I inherited my brother's friends. Again, a good thing.
Building friendships is a two way street of give & take; of lowering-your-defenses & being-open-to-changing-your-beliefs. It requires you to intentionally leave your comfort zone and take risks, be vulnerable and be patient about the results.
I had the best success when I was left with little choice ;-)
a. On a Wharton development venture trip sailing around Grenada; I bonded with my shipmates. And even though I have hardly stayed in touch with them since, for a week I didn't have any pretense and built genuine relationships
b. Working at Fundbox, over the years I made friends with the team by being consistent, reliable and patient for months.
Starting Prodigal has not really afforded that opportunity. I am largely socially distant from the team long before the pandemic :) and its hard to lower your guard as a CEO.
As H2 2020 begins, that will be my #1 goal for the remainder of the year. Here is what I will do
- Each week ping one person who I have had good conversations in the past
- Learn about what they have been upto; be curious about what is up in their lives; identify common ground
- Schedule 5min calls. Folks are busy but see if you find a connection; if there is more to talk about or you can help each other!
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