The Rat Race II

When I first started blogging, I was in quite a different state of mind from the one I am in now. Then it was about short-term apprehension [with the Insti. Elections approaching] (and, in parts, long cherished dreams being shattered[with ...] ) . [Those who dont know what I am talking about, stick around with my blog, I will write about it soon enough]. Now it is more about long-term challenge.

So 'The Rat Race II' comes from a different point of view from 'The Rat Race I'. This ones more inspired by Sudeep's Blog, and generally-not-doing stuff for the heck of it, but most importantly for personal enjoyment.

A major change, from my attitude from here-on would be to try on stuff , that I wudnt have otherwise, since they didnt fit in the Best Laid Plans. For example: In the past few weeks, I attended a Manna Dey concert in OAT as well as the Surbahar in convo. . I almost attended SwarSandhya as well. So while at Surbahar, I danced my heart out.
Who I was or what I stood for, didnt matter as long as I did what I wanted to do !

So starting from where I left in 'The Rat Race I':

At this roadblock, I stop to ponder and explore new ideas and avenues. Subsequently will come a time, when I will have to accept that I ran a rat-race in a maze where there wasnt any cheese for me. That will be hardest part of it all.
Neither is the maze to be blamed, nor are the rats. Its just that, its time to put on the running shoes and start searching for a different maze altogether.

I realise that the maze wasnt meant for me, or more aptly there isnt a well defined maze made for anyone at all. Each is supposed to mould his/her own maze. The tough part will come when I have to stand up for my own maze, and see to it that it doesnt ape the one that had no cheese for me. The very reason that would happen is that, I still would hope that, the maze I left behind did actually have some cheese for me ! The quicker I come to terms with this 'dis'illusion, the better I can craft my own maze !

I had quite a involved conversation with a senior, the night of 8th. He was almost god-sent and helped me a great deal in getting over the initial feeling of emptiness. He apparently had to go through quite a similar experience himself :( . The good thing was that he is quite a respected person in the Insti. and traversed a maze as beautiful and as unique, as well. That did cheer me up significantly and help me carry out routines routinely.

The next few days, were spent in the beleiving that if I had a rainbow as brilliant by the time I pass out as he has, the fact that the entire sky fell upon me one-not-so-fine day will not matter as much ! I could chart my journey the exact same way, as the senior did and end up the same way as he has. Then I too would have people looking up to me and cherish the 'aukaat'.

And This I think, is precisely where it began. Its just that I changed the Maze, I replaced the rats: but essentially it was pretty much the same ... A Rat Race .
Since then I probably have, realised that its high time I learnt what people like Sudeep knew all along:

"And so on, in every aspect of day-to-day life you can see him. Enjoying it out.

You enjoy life to the fullest, largest possible extent and you may begin to look like Renil! But atleast you enjoyed it and the on-lookers didn't! What the hell do you care!"

It makes sense to do stuff that you enjoy and try to excel at it. What doesnt make sense is that you try and live your life the way some other person [howsoever successful] did ! Life is meant to be enjoyed and not chased after.

Each person has to shape his own maze, run down a blind alley - bite into a cheese that is not of his preference - question his maze - kick out in frustration against the walls of the maze, all the same keep running, just because you love to run, the way you want to.